Why you shut down when you feel rejected.

At work.

Your friends making plans and not including you.

A romantic partner that pulled the rug under your feet.

The pain of rejection is real, I will say that.

The simple answer for why your default is shutting everything down is, you’re protecting yourself. From hurt (which if you think about it, hurts even more) and disallowing yourself to be vulnerable.

Not forgetting all the bad stuff you say to yourself after the fact. The self doubt, the talking down to yourself.

You weren’t good enough. You fucked up somehow. You must have. Otherwise, why would they not want you.

First of all, stop that.

Little reminder why shutting down is a bad thing.

Shutting down is saying fuck vulnerability.

Shutting down is not sharing your awesome goo with people because you’re afraid they will judge you, not like you, reject you (we already know this hurts)

Shutting down is taking back control or so you think

Shutting down is saying fuck the unknown, I’ll stay where it is safe.

It isn’t always safe. Safe could hurt a long time. Longer than it needs to. Control could stifle you. Not sharing yourself with people means that you may never make a real connection with anyone. It will hold you back from experiencing life.

That is no way to live and I am not trying to tell you how to live.

All I am saying is that, if you open up yourself up to people and let them see you, you are going to offend some, turn a few off and even lose some. Someone will think you’re too emotional. Some will be overwhelmed by you.

But that’s the thing about remaining true to yourself. You have to be willing to accept the consequences no matter what.

There it is Kings and Queens.

Next time you’re feeling rejected, cut off the story you are telling yourself about why it happened (that usually hurts more), remember who you are and keep being that. Share yourself with people that feel safe and protect your energy by letting go of whatever is not meant for you.

Love and light ❤️